So I’ve titled this post “dating” because some of you may want to go through the dating process again and may wish to read my two pennies worth of opinion on it. I personally can’t see myself ever properly dating as a past time now, but I would love to meet someone new I find chemistry with and see where that goes over time.
Other people can fall into the trap of thinking the widowed are either desperate or completely unable to entertain the idea of a new relationship thus bypassing the reality in between. This being that sooner or later we the widowed are ready to go for the happily ever after. I mean, our first attempt sort of sucked, royally.
Being “back out there in love” is like trying to get people to switch their energy bills over to you in the street. People employ everything they can to avoid looking you in the eye, or catching your attention. They pretend to be heavily engaged in conversation on their phone or with someone else. Even if they are slightly tempted to chat the likelihood is that they already have a better deal elsewhere and don’t want the confrontation with you. Or at least this is how it can sometimes feel to those of us whom the love gods already”rejected”.
One thing is for sure the widowed one has a great deal of work to do in order to seek out companionship again and man, does it take up a mountain of energy. It also requires an almost Olympic show of thick skin due to the rejection we encounter and sadly we just ARE going to encounter this from not just dates but so called friends too. Rejection stings.
But it’s not just us being rejected. No. We have to reject people too and it stings no less. I’ve turned down proposals from quite a few, (pumps up ego), – and it is usually down to having experienced no spark whatsoever. Love is chemical. It needs a reaction to start off and plenty of gas in the Bunsen to keep it alight. Connections such as these are so uncommon and precious. They take years to get over when they end. If anyone has any pearls of wisdom from the ether of dating widowed people or being a widowed parent in the dating world please let me know – heartening stories – anything other than this continual tumbleweed…. thank you!