10 Things to Enjoy as a Widow / Widower / Single Person

Howdy! I can’t seem to fuse my synapses together enough this morning to write anything too long or too profound so here is a list of things to celebrate in your time as a widow. I fully appreciate you may not be “there” yet in terms of enjoying anything but trust me one day, you will be!

  1. You are not “never been kissed”. You have had a marriage, enjoyed a partnership and lived a life maybe had some children. You can celebrate that fact. You were hopefully loved well and loved well in return. Wear that with pride. It’s yours forever.
  2. As a single person you can have your own style and change it at will without a partner raising eyebrows. This ranges from clothes to home decor – you can express yourself and your environment.
  3. You can pursue education or vocation without consulting a partner. You also do not have to take it in turns to do your pursuits like I see many couples doing. You don’t have to wait for Henry to study economics or Susan to start a baking business. You can start now.
  4. You can choose your own friends and not have to worry about mutual friend circles. I know it is hard when you have couple friends, married friends. They like to converse with other couples. The extra one, (that’s you widowed person), is harder to accommodate and so you will find yourself seeking out other single people in your social circle. It can be fun when a group of singles get together. Oh yes! It can be downright fun and dangerous!
  5. It is easier to set your priorities straight on your next relationship. You can explore who you really are and in turn have a greater chance of meeting someone else you really click with.
  6. If you were the cook in the family before – there is less cooking and you can eat what you want.
  7. There are fewer arguments and dramas. I always feel a little evil when I walk past a couple having an argument over something insignificant and try to hide the broad smile forming on my face. Contrary to belief we are not always jealous of couples in the street!
  8. Major life changes are possible. Complete re structures are executed without having to compromise a partners view, (or your own). For instance house sales, relocating, career change and drastic income drop etc
  9. Talking of income there are no joint finances. Sure – there are probably money worries and I will corner that subject soon enough – but at least the money is yours and no one gets upset about how you spend it, except possibly you when you check your statements.
  10. There is less guilt. You can do what you want, say what you want and see whoever you want without jealousy or condition.

So there are ten points off the top of my head on this dreary Friday in the UK. It never hurts to stop and think about what we HAVE rather than running an audit on what we DONT.

I hope you enjoy some of the benefits of being single, despite whatever circumstances brought you here. X

9 Comments

  1. widowidonow

    I’ve done a lot of these and raised a few eyebrows, but others opinions and preconceived notions on how we as widows and widowers should behave don’t matter. I’d like them to walk a day in our shoes and see how they get on xx

    Liked by 1 person

  2. From A Widows Perspective

    You do have some good points there. I agree with some of them already. I am sure I will understand more of them once I actually get home and go through that phase. I have always been an independent woman but at the same time loved sharing things with my spouse and doing things for him. He was wonderful about letting me do whatever I wanted. I can see that balance is very important. Being a widow now for five months, I still have a long ways to go. Thank you for your insights!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. hjtannerma

      Thank you for commenting – five months is very early and we all move at our own pace. I’ve only just started to open up to the opportunities I have and it has been four years. It’s all relative to you and how comfortable you feel but important to count whatever good is in your life right now X

      Liked by 1 person

  3. Daisy

    Thanks for posting this. Not something you usually read about widowhood, but so true. There are advantages to being single, and yes, lots of things and freedoms to enjoy that you couldn’t before. I’m glad you mentioned home decor. When I got my new place, I decorated it with lots of pink, purple and floral accessories, which is something I didn’t do too much while my husband was alive out of consideration. So I had a really crazy pink and purple phase for a while and I probably overdid it, but hey, it cheered me up.
    And yes, it’s definitely nice not to have to cook unless you want to 🙂
    And not giving a shit anymore about what other people think is so liberating!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. H.J. Tanner

      Thanks for commenting – I love reading about how widows cope and how they manage so I thought a few of my “reasons why living is okay” would be useful. Embracing the situation is hard as hell but as soon as you see one slant of light peeking through the clouds you start to see more. Not giving a shit is one of our widow arsenal – and seems to be universal between us! x

      Like

  4. JT Twissel

    Good advice for making the best of a situation you can’t change! I particularly would like the freedom to eat whenever and whatever I felt like instead of feeling like the menu selection for the week is on me! (unless I was to eat spaghetti all week)

    Liked by 1 person

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