Suicide Inquest Update…

So I am back from surgery and I am taking a bit longer than hoped to feel quite normal. There were no complications but I did have sinusitis on the day which messed with my middle ear so I am not quite steady on my feet at the moment. I wanted to say a few words though following the suicide of Caroline Flack.

She appears to have taken her own life in the same manner as my husband. She appears to have been trapped into a corner. It sounds all too familiar. My heart goes out to her family. They are now facing a suicide inquest which is the exact reason I felt compelled to speak here today just a few words as I am working on an article following my own experiences of this – it is not done yet but it will be coming next week. It is intended for families facing the very same and explains what to expect. Please keep checking back if this may help you.

In this life many times I have contemplated what the final straw might be for myself. It seems to come after one thing, leads to another, to another – a compound effect of external, (usually), factors. I find it disturbing that when addressing suicide we often feel that there has been a “breakdown” or “dip in well being” when actually my experiences have taught me that the act of suicide often follows some very rational thinking processes. Surely instead of prevention we must first seek to understand, and then seek to improve the situation.

There has been a message – BE KIND – circulating since Flack’s death. Be kind is a must. But I don’t know many people who are actually genuinely kind. Is the person who photographed the dying girl in the mud who they could not save a kind person? Surely the kinder person would have comforted the girl not captured the moment? Are the people who read snark websites for entertainment kind? Are they any kinder than the ones who write them for entertainment? Are the kids in the class kind? Are their parents?

In 2018 I was on a bus travelling between Schipol and Amsterdam Central when a teenage girl got on with her friends but unlike her friends she had no credit left to travel on her pass. The driver ordered her off the bus in the middle of nowhere. No one on the bus got up. Her friends didn’t help her and she was panicking. So I got up and paid the fare. It was six euros it was nothing but it was someone’s daughter safe. I did it because I cared about the girl. And it takes little to stand up and do something. Kind takes virtually nothing from you yet gives everything in return.

I will be back with my post ASAP.

Hopefully in better shape!

Heather Xx

7 thoughts on “Suicide Inquest Update…

  1. I had a sister-in-law and nephew on my ex-husband’s side commit suicide. I really like your take on it. Bless you for helping that young girl. As hard as it is for us to cope at our ages, imagine a young child trying to. Looking forward to your article on it. Take your time in your healing process and glad your surgery went well.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I am sorry to hear it and thank you! The problem is genuine kindness has nothing to do with martyrdom or charity. Also I know that kindness sometimes means not giving someone what they want – and that can be mis-read. Our lives are freaking minefields we can only do our best! 🙂 X


    1. Thank you I appreciate that – it has not been easy but it has shaped me, (and the kids!), into the people we are today – hoping to help someone out there going through similar X


  3. This example you have bravely circulated is brilliant. I truly understand your sadness whilst you wrote. True Kindness resonated through me. Keep writing the world needs to hear your experience with a touch of Kindness 🕯️🙌 Earth Angel 😇

    Liked by 1 person

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