05 Jan Happy New Year & A Farewell to This is Ulverston

There was a rocky start to the New Year. It’s always triggering in January because this is when I lost my husband to suicide. It is the tenth anniversary tomorrow so I need to remember – slow, steady – don’t make the mistake of rushing headlong into too many things.

Speaking of which, 2026 has to be the year when I decide on what the next stage will be. Operation Relocation was three years ago and the last part of that particular plan – transition my youngest child into secondary and pull our finances together – has all aligned. Albeit the first part is still on uneven ground as we have a lot of admin and red tape to go through. We have a lot more fighting to do. Now for the trickier longer term plans. What becomes very obvious is that the drifter experiments have to end. And so I’ve closed a couple of projects and ideas that are close to my heart but can’t continue my time with. This is Ulverston being the main one.

This is Ulverston arose from a desire to meet people, a curiosity about those people and the town, a innate nosiness about local business and a need to explore vocations of yesteryear to see if they were still relevant to me now. It has been so much fun and so very useful. I am sad to see it go. You can still read the archived stories under the projects menu.

But what did I learn? I am going to skip over what I learnt about the town – it was less about learning and more about confirming whether or not things were as they used to be. But what I learnt for myself is that I don’t wish to write as a profession anymore. My Masters was a very long time ago when I was incredibly enthusiastic about making writing a vocation. Over the years I have become much more of a visual and aesthetic communicator and I enjoy that so much more than expressing myself solely through written words. Photography and design have been as much a part of my journey and I want to expand on those areas. I’ve spent almost 19 years in virtual design using physics engines to create virtual environments, experiences, buildings and landscapes. I love this work but I also want to step away from screens. There are lots of conflicting areas, (as well as a desire that remains to write a book despite what I just stated!)

Since I left the city and returned to small town life some of my now far flung friends have been experiencing untold hardship. Things I never dreamed would happen when I decided to leave. In fact I remember looking round at them all thinking how well everyone was doing and how much I was struggling in comparison. Now I find myself stepping in to help them in return and I want to dedicate more of my time to my friends as well as my kids.

Going forward professionally I am focusing in on Architectural projects, property photography and staying as much in the present as I can. I want to get back to meditating, start Tai Chi and return to archery and fencing. I want to be back in the mountains. Most of you know that I have a mix of Fibromyalgia and Ulcerative Colitis and that these two things coupled with looking after an autistic child have really taken me far from where I belong. Now that I am back in the Lake District I find myself so near yet so far from the stuff that feeds my soul. 2026 is about gaining control of my nervous system and making some probably small yet significant steps in recovery. I also want people to stop calling me “Mrs”. I’ve been a “Ms” for a decade and still I get it. One day in the future I will be “Mrs Something New” and I can’t wait for that because I loved being married. I can’t wait to take on a new name, a new future and love being called “Mrs” again. But it’s “Ms” right now, please!

For now I am a mum and a dad. I am a housewife, a breadwinner, a cook, a maid, an emotional and physical punchbag, a fighter, a financial advisor – the list is endless of all the roles one person has to fufill. But somewhere in that I will return to what makes me tick and I will be sharing that journey here on this site because the last thing I should mention is that I am going relatively social media free this year. I know I only had one channel previously but I have dropped that too. To clarify I now only use Tumblr for inspiration, (yes it”s 2010 all over again!) and you can get me on Whatsapp or email. ♥