H.J. TANNER

I got new land – it is amazing. I mean it’s currently a jungle but that is what I wanted. I am very fortunate but it was inevitable eventually. I set the intention and made the room. It took two years for some people and situations to fall into alignment, but – it has happened. I also needed to get out of my own way!

We will be creating a den soon – some kind of shelter. It’s going to replace the traditional shed and then we plan to hide out as often as possible. Me, specifically, as I find imposing streets no matter how Georgian and grand, steal my joy. I still can’t move much but if I pace my days I can do a little job here and there. All we are missing is a small lake, a jetty and a row boat.

Getting out of my own way is hard. I tend to navigate in an intentional way. Turning that off and re-channeling the energy and the focus can be quite difficult. Something I hoped for since I re-located is still in the oven. I desperately want to check to see if it is done but I know deep down, it isn’t, not yet. By Summer I expect some kind of update. Until then all this passion I have for it has to go somewhere. It can’t devolve into lack. Lack is the very opposite place of being when it comes to getting what you want. So we stay upbeat – and this new land is the perfect re-focus.

Welcome back – it’s been a few years.

I’ve been writing, creating websites, digging in gardens and relocating back to the country.

All I am seeing at the moment on social media is absolute bull of one type or another. People bashing up against each other, hating on each other and I am trying not to log into it more than I need to. I feel it’s better to have my own neutral space back.

So thanks for joining me!

Things I have recently taken part in or about to :

Orange Button Intervention Training – living in the shadow of a suicide does suck, make no mistake it’s something you can’t ever escape and society won’t let you either. However, we manage to lead a pretty happy life – there is a lot of laughing, quite a bit of silliness. And it’s okay 🙂 I do not believe in using the words “prevention” or “against” and I support bodily autonomy – but I still feel that wearing an orange button is a positive thing. It’s an open invitation that says I’ve had some training and I am willing to talk. I am willing to understand and in my case, I have the experience and I do understand.

Autism, Anxiety & Trauma Online Training – I’m doing this event next week mainly in a bid to improve relations between my son’s emotional distress responses and the way I deal with it. I am still navigating my own hypervigilance and nervous system responses and it’s not all gelling well with perimenopause! Some of the distress responses are verbal and some are physical – it feels like you have to block like a ninja warrior and channel a literal saint to manage it. I will update!